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I don'ts knows where Goobie comes frum but dats what Mom and Papa calls me!

I love walks wiff my Mom ands my sissy Pickie, barkin ands sniffin ebery night fur tha Ratcoons, stockin, diggin fur gufer (I likes tu pounce on tha holes), rides wiffs Mom or Papa, hangin my head outs tha window tu feels tha wind in my hair, helpin Mom in tha garden and yard diggin and chasin tha neighbur's cats.

I luvs my Mom and Papa vury much! I goes everyware wiffs Papa ins his truck. I gets to sits on his lap ands hangs my head out tha winda all tha time.  Mom says I is Papa's lil gurl and I b spoiled!

Papa ands I go downs tu the riber tu see alls tha fishermen friends, tu Grandma Mary's, to Papa's cuzin's house tu gets woods tu delivers and a lots of ober places tu.


Yur fwriend Frisbee Bradley

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Zombie Gofer pawtrol #98 under gwound bunker destwoyed!

Da date waz March 15fh, 2015...visibility clear ands ups tu 100ft...Weathur waz nice...sun waz outs ands da burds were singen dere sweet songs ands dere waz a Buzzord flyen aboves me...I finks he waz looken fur dinner but it wuldn'ts be me dat's fur sure cuz I wuldn't tasted very good cuz sometimes I can be full ob it don'ts yu know....I pwoceeded tu goes intu da neighburs field tu do my daily Gofer ands Zombie pawtrol fur da #ZombieSquad Earlier in da mornen my neighbur sent outs a S.O.S.Z.T., (I'll bweak dis downs fur yu...S.O.S. Zombie Twouble)...He waz haben pwoblems wiffs Zombie Gofers diggen dere Zombie undergwound meeten place...I waz very alurt at all times ands I haded my Zombie Field Pack wiffs me...

I stayed very alurt wiffs eyes wide opened ands senses on alurt fur Zombie Gofer's ronchie smells...I started pawtrollen in one area dat is known fur haben Zombie Gofers in it...Sighted none....


I pwoceeded tu pawtrol anober area where's I habe seen Zombie Gofer holes ands Zombie Gofer drool....It stinks bad likes wotten feet!
I pwoceeded tu goes out furthur in da field where my sources sayed da Zombie Gofer headquarter are located. Here dey go ober tacktics, plots, exercizes and twaining on hows tu bite or scwatch Hoomens ands ober furry fwiends weleasing just da wight amounts ob Zombie drool therefure turnen dere victums intu Zombies dat dey wecruit intu dere Zombie Army..Too bad dere Headquarters don'ts habe a showar in it's fur dem tu shower cuz dey are very wonchie...butt I don'ts finks a shower or eben deoderunt or eben kalone or perfume wuld help dem in da smell good department. Well I mean tu tell yu I HIT DA JACKPOT! Dere were a lot's ob Zombie Gofer holes just waiten fur me tu attack thus destwoyen da Zombie Gofer ands widding dem frum da neighburhood...Ands my sources were wight ons da money wiffs dis one!

I den pwoceeded tu finds da wight Zombie Gofer hole..yu knows da one...da one dat is da biggest cuz dat wuld be a good indicashion I had founded da main vein in da Zombie Gofer undergwound nest....it wuld also mean dat I wuld be ables tu destwoy da most Zombie Gofers cuz da main vein wuld be where's da leeda's wuld be plotten dere next attack...it wuld also mean dat I wuld find also in da main vein a lot's ob Zombie Gofer memba's going ober twaining ands tacktics...kinda likes a big breefing wuld be.....I pwoceeded tu alurtly, calmly ands bravely monitur da Zombie Gofer main hole...I patiently waited, watched ands sniffed da Zombie Gofer main hole maken sure my targets were still in dere waiten tu be destwoyed by dis Master Zombie Hunter.....Westies are knows fur dere patients....sitten on a Gofer hole fur hours ands dat's whut I did...nofhing wuld destray or distwact me furm dis mission...I wuld not eben leaves dis post fur nofhing...no Cookie Tweats, no pee pee breaks ands no doo doo bweaks...I was on a mission.....I hads tu makes sure dere were a lot's ob Zombie Gofers in da undergwound military post downs dere so I hads tu use sompen special dat my Mom just gotted for me frum G.I. Joe's army store....Weaching intu my Zombie Field Pack I pulled outs my special glasses wiffs special powers, (powers likes Super Man has like seeing thru walls ands stuff like dat). Dese glasses gibes me Xray vision which comes in handy wiffs thins just like dis...(dey also comes in handy fur seeing fru dwesses buts I don'ts uses dem fur dat cuz I aint's a boy I'm a gurl)....Tu continue ons wiffs my weport....I weached in my Zombie Field Pack ands gotted my Xray glasses ands putted dem on...Then BINGO! I surveyed da Zombie Gofer hole area ands BINGO AGAIN! dere dey were....Generals tu pwivates dey were all dere...I had hitted da JACKPOT OB ZOMBIE GOFERS! Dis mission was so very important tu da #ZombieSquad ands I hads tu complete it swiftly, alurtly ands wiffs gweat Master Zombie Hunter teckniques....I knew da piece ob equipment needed tu accomplish dis mission...once agains I wents tu my Zombie Field Pack ands pulled outs twu Hoomen Fart Bombs...Dey wuld du da job wight...butts before I culd pull da pin ands dropps dem intu da hole I hads tu gets my Zombie Gas Mask outs ob my Zombie Field Pack first....so once agains I wents tu my Zombie Field Pack ands gotted my Zombie Gas Mask...I hads tu work quickly ands wiffs lots obe effeciency so I putted ons my Zombie Gas Mask...I decided tu gets more Hoomen Fart Bombs ands puts one in each hole tu makes sure I gotted all ob da Zombie Gofers undergwound...Wiffs my Zombie Gas Mask on I quickly wents tu each Zombie Gofer hole den pulled da pin den dwopped da bomb downs da hole...I hads enough time tu getted aways frum da mission site ands quickly, swiftly likes a Ninja in da nite made my escape tu a safe place tu watches, maken sure each bomb wents off ands dids da job wight destwoying all ob da Zombie Gofers under gwound down dere....BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! one aftur one da bombs exploded ands destwoyed da Zombie Gofers..POOF! ups in thins air neber tu be seen agains...neber tu hurt any hoomen or furry fwiend again! Da mission was a success!

All Zombie Gofer holes were destwoyed alongs wiffs all ob da Zombie Gofer in dere under gwound bunker ands headquarters...or so I thoughts...I heard a noize comen frum ones ob da Zombie Gofer holes so I wented ober tu investigates it...tu my surprize dere wiffs his head poked outs ob da hole waz da main General in contwol ob everyone ands everyfing...He surrendered tu me wiffsouts any pwoblems ands we putted him in da Zombie Gofer War Camp where dey de-computerize dem frum being Zombies tu bein just stupid Gofers...No obher Zombie Gofer wemained in site in dere bunker...I had completed a very successful impawtent mission fur da #ZombieSquad da neighburhood cans west at ease ands sleeps agains at nite!

Da ends ob my weport....by Sergent Master Zombie Hunter Frisbee Bradley aka Goobie....da..stands at attention!....daaa...WuNdEr WeStIe....

2 comments:

  1. You sure did have some rough areas to deal with on the patrol!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

    ReplyDelete

If ya's wunts tu talks to me's justs contacts me!